A Comprehensive and Complete Chronicle of the Clown Wars
Antiquity
Sacred Clowning
Pictured here is a heyoka, a sacred clown of the indigenous Plains peoples of what is now known as North America. Heyoka are very old but not gone. He looks scary but he's there to help. He may not appear to you to be helping though, they're known for doing things backwards.
13th Century Jesters
Jesters were members of the household of a nobleman or a monarch employed to entertain guests during the medieval and Renaissance eras. Jesters were also itinerant performers who entertained common folk at fairs and town markets, and the discipline continues into the modern day, where jesters perform at historical-themed events.
18th to the 19th Century
Joseph Grimaldi
Joseph Grimaldi is credited with the invention of the modern clown. He was basically a good guy, but you can see the grotesque creeping into his presentation.
The 20th Century
Some Modern American clowns
More than just entertainment, clowns perform valuable functions in their societies by speaking truth to power and by holding up a funhouse mirror, reflecting back mutated copies of the everyday.
Scientists consider clowns to be a subspecies of humans and have classified them as Corydonus benevolens.
A new threat
Perhaps the war started long ago, but on April 25, 1940 a new chapter in the eternal struggle between good and evil unexpectedly commenced. DC Comics first published a story featuring the Joker, and the modern horror clown was born. Science classifies them as Corydonus horrificus, a rival genetic variant. Fortunately Batman remains one of our closest allies against evil clowns, and Commander Joker in particular.
Most recent depiction of General Pennywise
The Second Clown War began in 1986 with the publication of Stephen King’s IT. Pennywise the Dancing Clown became one of the most important generals of the evil clown faction.
2016-2017: The Skirmishes in the Woods
I don't like this guy
Beginning in late 2016 some of the evil clowns were actively attacking civilians in secluded areas. Though the good clowns defended as bravely as they could, their losses were catastrophic.